There’s a lot of confusion about the anti-swearing laws that the Victorian Government is about to introduce, so here’s some clarification (from someone who isn’t a lawyer but spends a lot of time on the Internet):

It may surprise you to learn that swearing in public has been illegal in Victoria since the Summary Offences Act was passed in 1966. As wowserish as this state is, Queensland and NSW have since followed suit and all Australian states and territories that more or less covers this behaviour. The language in the Victorian legislation is deliberately broad and you are subject to it if you are using any language within earshot of a public place that could be deemed to be:

• obscene
• indecent
• insulting
• abusive
• threatening

Which brings me to these:

Available in red, white and... umber?

I’ve imbibed a lot of goon in my drinking career and I have to say that I think a lot of people will be swayed by the convenience of these single-serving wine glasses. A goon bag can get pretty heavy after a while, after all. The packaging seems a touch wasteful in comparison but the glasses are recyclable - and if my friends are anything to go by may simply be re-used.

It’s called the Tulip – an innovative solution to drinking wine without glass but with class. Thankyou, I will be here all week.

[Wine Innovations via CrunchGear via Gizmodo]

All hail the King of Vuvuzela and his mighty crown

This World Cup, the players have had to compete for headlines against a trumpet. I won’t bother explaining the vuvuzela much – if you’ve turned on a television this week then you’ve heard the buzz of a thousand of the blighters. The public response has mostly been outright hatred for these horns, partially because of the sheer volume of the damn things but also because it means the crowd sounds the same no matter what’s happening on the pitch:

For those of you playing at home

The South Africans love it, however, and show no sign of bending to pressure to ban the vuvuzela. Instead there’s a backlash, on the logic that it’s culturally insensitive to tell Africans how they are to celebrate in their own country. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I don’t mind the noise or if I just enjoy when a bunch of white people are getting all huffy in their lounge rooms about a bunch of people half a world away who are having a great time and don’t give a damn – let’s face it, we all know it’s the second one – but this is the funniest shit I’ve seen in ages.

Stuff it, I’ll say it: I LOVE THE VUVUZELA. Not only does it annoy stuffy white people, it’s like having a horde of angry bees in your television. 22 men play on a field to decide the fate of the planet while the mutant wasp swarm descends!

I’ve another theory, however, and it goes like this: the buzz of the vuvuzelas sounds like electro. Throw down a beat behind it and it’s not far off some of the remixes I’ve done, in fact. For example, one I actually dubbed as my Wasp remix of Proxy’s Raven because it sounds like a barrel full of the little beasts:

Proxy – Raven (Silence Wedge’s ‘Wasp’ Re-Edit) [mediafire]

Soccer and electro often produce similar reactions from me – jumping around, yelling at people, consuming a lot of alcohol – so it’s difficult to whether the buzzing makes me more excited, but I’m pretty sure it does. A buildup of distorted horns that never breaks, tens of thousands of electric heralds spurring on the champions. Within seconds, my eyes are twitching and I find that my jaw’s clenched tighter than a Scotsman’s arsehole. I’m a white-knuckled, gurning mess. FOOTBALL!

Apparently Brazil have claimed that their players are suffering because they cannot hear the normal samba beat that their supporters play. They should get with the times – not only in regards to electronic music, as this is the same country which produced the Twelves, but I like to think that owning up to the fact that your team is just playing a bit shit is rather 21st century. Perhaps that is a touch naïve; sadly, major sporting stars are not often known for their humility.

Let me cut to the chase: I wrote this post for two reasons. One, as I’m sure you’ve realised, is to share amusing vuvuzela imemeages (not a word, but it should be). The other is to give you the track below. Some blessed soul has done what we were all thinking and remixed the devil’s horn and let me tell you the results are impressive. God bless you, Internet.

DJ Ghostdad – Vuvuzela Beat [mediafire]

The three-minute video surely can’t have been shown in its entirety during a single ad break, I would think, but it should be. The backing song that the Triangles have supplied, Applejack, is a whirligig funtime summer number complete with a catchy singalong chorus and it goes perfectly with the beautiful – dare I say it – ad. It’s more like a music video clip – following in that recent tradition of each clip essentially being a short film set to music – but with product placement. Check it out – and get yourself a beer while you’re up.

Not dead, just frozen.

To be honest, I didn’t think it was going to happen. It’s been more than three years since !!! last released an album, their 2007 hit Myth Takes. On top of that, last year their drummer died in a tragic accident when he fell down a lift shaft – his name was Jerry Fuchs, he was fantastic, he was only 34.

Despite my pessimistic predictions, !!! will be back with a new album later this year entitled Strange Weather, Isn’t It? The band are proclaiming it as their “Berlin album”, suggesting it will be dark and moody like the albums that David Bowie and Iggy Pop produced there. On the contrary, preliminary reports suggest that it’s actually their poppiest album – so which is it? Well, they’re streaming a track for free from their website which sounds a) great, and b) not really any gloomier than their previous stuff.

Check out the new track, AM/FM, at http://chkchkchk.net/ and see what you think.

Strange Weather, Isn’t It? is to be released August 24th on the lovely, lovely Warp Records.

A love story about raiding bags, I guess.

One of the finest venues in our damned fine city, the Toff in Town, is hosting a new series of club nights named Love Story. It bears a resemblance to Andee Frost’s House de Frost nights, in that it’s free entry unless there’s a famous guest and that it’s generally wonderful. The music taste is a little broader, however, taking in a spectrum of dance, indie and disco – and it’s on a Thursday. There ain’t no party like a school-night party. It’s run by 1928, aka Adam Burnell, a Melbourne DJ of some repute and half of the team that put on the Strobe nights at Roxanne Parlour (if you’re not familiar with them, take my word – they are great).

Anyhow, the point is that this week the special guests are Bag Raiders, the Sydney duo famous for their catchy electro hit Shooting Stars, and that you should go and see them. Tickets are $20 for heaven’s sake.

Bag Raiders, 1928 and other guests play the Toff in Town at 11.30pm, Thursday 20th of May.

I'm not sure why there's a cat.

Gameboy/Gamegirl are back! They exploded on the blogosphere a couple of years back when that was still an unusual thing to do and partied hard locally before kind of disappearing from the scene. Tranter has been DJing steadily and making a name for himself that way, but he really comes into his own as GB/GG’s quirky frontman. They re-emerged a few months back at the Sandcastles festival as good as ever, although they say that their next show might be their last for a while as the girls are heading back to Berlin. I highly recommend checking them out.

They got branded with the label bloghaus because of the zeitgeist but now that we aren’t as excitable about using that word, they’re better described as clubbed-up electro, filled with clever vocal hooks. I first saw them supporting the Bumblebeez at SoCo Cargo a while back and they completely stole the show. Their banter is pure gold and Tranter takes his shirt off at the drop of nothing (ignoring protests from the crowd, in some cases).

They’re playing at the Mercat Cross on the 14th of May. Did I mention it’s $5? It’s $5!

The band have ‘leaked’ Tranter’s do-over of this song to promote the event, but it’s worth checking out some of their older stuff too because frankly it’s fantastic. I’m not sure which to post, I like pretty much everything they’ve done. I insist that you enjoy some of the following:

Gameboy/Gamegirl – Go 2 Skool (Tranter’s Club Dub) [mediafire]

Sweaty Wet / Dirty Damp:

Pumps & Rumps:

Fruit Salad:

Like a big, filthy pile of electro.

Has anyone seen this shit? Has France just dropped out of the fucking sky?

I knew Breakbot was coming to the country – something worth celebrating any day of the week – but this is just a giant pile of fucked-up partying.  Roxanne Parlour is quickly making a name for itself in the field of people getting very loose and music getting very dirty and this line-up makes it clear that Friday will be no different.

Celebrated French producers Breakbot (clean) and The Toxic Avenger (dirty) team up with Melbourne’s Miami Horror DJ’s (clean) and Chile’s new hit Barretso (dirty). The local supports are no stranger to this venue or setting a dancefloor on fire: Trumpdisco, Mu-Gen, Harris Robotis and Generik just to name a few.

This will be killer. Come check it out.

Breakbot’s new tune, Baby I’m Yours:

The rad clip for The Toxic Avenger’s single, Toxic Is Dead:

This Saturday, the Swiss are playing at Melbourne’s Mercat Cross. Hailing from Adelaide (which always reminded me a bit of Switzerland – good architecture, not much happening), this three-piece have carved a name for themselves in the last year by cranking out their own particular brand of disco all over the scene. It’s space disco layered on a solid groove, primed to get you moving.

Supports from Knightlife (probably worth the price of admission itself), Andee Frost, Otologic and Tornado Wallace.

The Frenchman’s forays into film are as surreal and twisted as his frenetic, twisted beats. Check out this aggressively satirical mockumentary making-of for Lamb’s Anger, his most recent album. Everything the Ed Banger stalwart touches turns to buzzing black gold.